The Kevin John Murphy Project

See how the Kevin project has grown and flourished

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Early Design Idea

The first sketch of the new prototype project. As with all corporate projects, the most important part is coming up with a good name for the project. Early entries such as Junior, Nobbin, James Alexander, and MyLittle TaxDeduction are all considered and finally vetoed. A major milestone is passed in November of 1998 as the name Kevin John is settled as the new project name.

First Alpha-Beta Prototype Release

The prototype launch of a new project, Kevin-v0.001, December 17, 1998.
As with all initial coding attempts, parts of the system are unstable; a lot of effort is put forth just to nurse it along and keep it online. Project leader Dot is immediately overjoyed at the initial version.
Kevin seems to prefer Windows 95. Must be a virus or something.

Size Does Matter

Kevin weighs in for the press. At 6 pounds 13 oz. he is a wonder of miniaturization.
Hey lady, keep your thumb off the scale! I'm not fat, I'm big boned!


After giving the project a good lookover, I decide its time to start the documentation process. I construct a web page showing the various accomplishments, but sometimes wonder why when I know that no one ever reads the documentation.
As part of the documentation process we fill out the Birth Certificate and an application for a Social Security Number. The next day Kevin is pre-approved for a half-dozen credit cards with limits higher than mine. His clean credit report is apparently a big plus.

Work Share

Part of the plan was to incorporate earlier project successes to create synergy and promote teambuilding. We're not really sure what this means, but it looked good on the marketing slide. So far all we've been able to do is get previous project Erin to hold and occasionally provide input to the new Kevin project. She refuses to code any of the garbage collection routines.

Investor review

Word about the project prototype spreads. Soon investors line up to take a look and feel of the new project. Results are uniformly positive.

Early Indications

Kevin sings his first words. He insists he has been reincarnated and he is, in fact, the Fourth Tenor.

Coding Miscue

I have to talk to the Microsoft Cat team members. To help jumpstart this project they were supposed to copy the Erin Rose Knowledge Database Object over to Kevin, thus saving 8 years of programming. However, communication with Microsoft Cats never seems to go as expected. During one of their Woof Building Meetings, the objective got short-handed to Copy What Erin Knows and then passed to the programmer as Copy Erin's Nose

Advanced for His Age

Certain parts of the projects Interpretation routines are apprently much more advanced than we would have thought for this stage. As I'm reading various computer trade mags outloud, Kevin breaks into hysterics when he hears of Bill Gates plans for Windows and Zero Administration.

I have got to start paying closer attention to the Microsoft Cats. They are supposed to be working on the Knowledge Base transfer. Left to their own schedule they have transfered routines Sit-Up, Roll-Over, and for some reason Drool.

Packaging Science

The marketting department wants us to make sure that we'll be ready for the shrink wrapped version even though the v1.0 deadline is months away. Initial test prove tricky when we can't make Kevin shrink or keep him wrapped.

The Press Takes an Interest

Word leaks out that the Kevin John Project (v0.75) will be on display at a local function. While it wasn't intended to be a full fleged demo, crowds flock to the site, closing down a major thoroughfare. The press describe it as Kevin's coming out from under wraps party. (full story)
The anticipation of the first release is much greater than we anticipated. We try to make them understand that the project is still in beta. We just recently installed the self-propelled routines, they aren't fully debugged yet. This has led to many unhappy instances of the BOINK error message being generated.

Prior Art

I am advised that to protect future profits I should consider patenting the projects. Even though I am absolutely against software patents, I am a fan of profits. The first part of the patent process is a search for prior art. They turn up a 19th century version that they claim "invalidates" our application. We deny any similarity pointing out that the "look and feel" of our current project is entirely different. They don't buy it, thus reducing the future profit potential. We regroup and start adding comments to the project code about "Community College".